I love David Wilkerson! I don't have much time to write tonight so I will just share a link to David Wilkerson's blogpost from today because it's wonderful and what I've been thinking about the last few weeks.
http://davidwilkersontoday.blogspot.com/2011/02/surrendered-life.html
Enjoy!
Monday, 28 February 2011
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
Teach me how to pray
I was in Aberdeen for the whole day today and on the drive home I was listening to some Jason Upton and have a wonderful time with the Lord. This song really spoke to me, challenged me, and encouraged me so I thought I'd make it my blog post for today.
Teach Me How To Pray by Jason Upton
Mommy, I hear the baby crying
Help me, are the words she’s implying
Where’ve I been while my world has been dying
Lord, teach me how to pray
Not my will or my plans or the way I want it
I’m so tired of my hands in the way
So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father, today
Lord teach me how to pray
Daddy, I can hear Jesus crying
Help me, are the words He’s implying
Am I sleeping while my Savior is dying
Lord, teach me how to pray
Not my will or my plans or the way I want it
I’m so tired of my hands in the way
So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father, today
Lord teach me how to pray
So I’ll keep asking, for Your kingdom to come
Looking, for Your will to be done
For every nation, tribe, and every tongue
Lord, teach me how to pray
Soooo good! How much do I do what I want? My will, my plans, the way I want things? I'm sooo tired of these hands in the way! The Lord's will be done in me, in my life, in every single aspect of my life. I want to be fully dead to SELF and let His will alone be done in me.
Teach Me How To Pray by Jason Upton
Mommy, I hear the baby crying
Help me, are the words she’s implying
Where’ve I been while my world has been dying
Lord, teach me how to pray
Not my will or my plans or the way I want it
I’m so tired of my hands in the way
So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father, today
Lord teach me how to pray
Daddy, I can hear Jesus crying
Help me, are the words He’s implying
Am I sleeping while my Savior is dying
Lord, teach me how to pray
Not my will or my plans or the way I want it
I’m so tired of my hands in the way
So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father, today
Lord teach me how to pray
So I’ll keep asking, for Your kingdom to come
Looking, for Your will to be done
For every nation, tribe, and every tongue
Lord, teach me how to pray
Soooo good! How much do I do what I want? My will, my plans, the way I want things? I'm sooo tired of these hands in the way! The Lord's will be done in me, in my life, in every single aspect of my life. I want to be fully dead to SELF and let His will alone be done in me.
Sunday, 20 February 2011
Random Ramblings again
I turned 30 yesterday.....eeek!! It was quite painful in the morning, but by the end of the day 30 wasn't so painful anymore. I went out with my friend Mercedes to watch a movie and then we grabbed a bite to eat. I love Mercedes, she makes me laugh and she is a very loyal friend. I'm blessed to have her in my life.
I'm so very tired today, I was actually falling asleep in church, that's how tired I am lol. It's been a week of hardly any sleep, with Lydia not feeling well and she didn't sleep well which meant we didn't sleep well. She is feeling better now and we are getting better sleep. But last night I was feeling kinda blue, so when I was trying to go to sleep my mind was just going and going and going and wouldn't stop. So it took a long time for me to fall asleep and then Lydia was up early, well early for her at 8:30am lol. So, I'm gonna head off to bed early tonight.
I got my appt in for the breast clinic. It's March 8th. I'm trying not to think about it, that way I don't worry between now and then. God's will be done though, no matter what happens. And I trust Him!
One of the ladies from church posted on my Facebook wall that she was really blessed by my children today at church. It melts my heart to hear people say that my children blessed them. She said that Micah prayed for the snack, and not only did he pray but he volunteered himself without even being asked. I'm so proud of him. He's the cutest boy to ever walk this planet! He's incredibly sweet, he's always randomly saying "I love you mommy." and giving me hugs and kisses. It's the greatest thing in the world. He's gonna be a huge guy when he's older, but I know that he is going to be a gentle giant. He opens doors for people too! He makes me smile!
Rodney asked me what I wanted for my birthday ages ago. I told him that the one thing I really wanted I knew we couldn't afford. I wanted professional pictures taken of the kids and the 5 of us as a family. I wanted them to be outside as we tend to like natural pictures taken instead of posed ones. Anyway, Rodney entered me into this Valentine's day competition for a local photographer. The prize was a free photo session and 5 free 5x7 photos. And I actually won!!!! I'm so excited. I know that that was a special birthday present from God, because He knew how badly I wanted that. God does love me, and it's the little things like that that prove it:) So, I've been in touch with the photographer and we are going to do an outside session but we have to wait until about April when the weather gets nicer. And to top that off, my friend Amber gave me a gift certificate to this photographer, so that can go towards extra photos. I'm very humbled and excited!!! We finally get to get family photos taken....woohoo!
I think that's all of my random ramblings for now. I'm gonna head off to bed and hopefully get a wonderful night's sleep!
I'm so very tired today, I was actually falling asleep in church, that's how tired I am lol. It's been a week of hardly any sleep, with Lydia not feeling well and she didn't sleep well which meant we didn't sleep well. She is feeling better now and we are getting better sleep. But last night I was feeling kinda blue, so when I was trying to go to sleep my mind was just going and going and going and wouldn't stop. So it took a long time for me to fall asleep and then Lydia was up early, well early for her at 8:30am lol. So, I'm gonna head off to bed early tonight.
I got my appt in for the breast clinic. It's March 8th. I'm trying not to think about it, that way I don't worry between now and then. God's will be done though, no matter what happens. And I trust Him!
One of the ladies from church posted on my Facebook wall that she was really blessed by my children today at church. It melts my heart to hear people say that my children blessed them. She said that Micah prayed for the snack, and not only did he pray but he volunteered himself without even being asked. I'm so proud of him. He's the cutest boy to ever walk this planet! He's incredibly sweet, he's always randomly saying "I love you mommy." and giving me hugs and kisses. It's the greatest thing in the world. He's gonna be a huge guy when he's older, but I know that he is going to be a gentle giant. He opens doors for people too! He makes me smile!
Rodney asked me what I wanted for my birthday ages ago. I told him that the one thing I really wanted I knew we couldn't afford. I wanted professional pictures taken of the kids and the 5 of us as a family. I wanted them to be outside as we tend to like natural pictures taken instead of posed ones. Anyway, Rodney entered me into this Valentine's day competition for a local photographer. The prize was a free photo session and 5 free 5x7 photos. And I actually won!!!! I'm so excited. I know that that was a special birthday present from God, because He knew how badly I wanted that. God does love me, and it's the little things like that that prove it:) So, I've been in touch with the photographer and we are going to do an outside session but we have to wait until about April when the weather gets nicer. And to top that off, my friend Amber gave me a gift certificate to this photographer, so that can go towards extra photos. I'm very humbled and excited!!! We finally get to get family photos taken....woohoo!
I think that's all of my random ramblings for now. I'm gonna head off to bed and hopefully get a wonderful night's sleep!
Thursday, 17 February 2011
Forgiveness
I've been thinking about forgiving and being forgiven lately. I had a friend who went through a really rough time with her husband a while back, he did some horrible stuff and my friend was very hurt. In the midst of that great trial she went through, she posted a facebook status that really spoke to me. She said, "Forgiveness is often more for the person doing the forgiving than the person who is being forgiven". Such wisdom! I chewed and chewed on that, there is a lot to glean from that. You see when we are hurt by others, it's so easy to bottle that hurt up inside and eventually bitterness takes root and bitterness causes all sorts of problems. But when we forgive others for hurting us, it frees us and let's our heart stay in a good state. I have experienced this in my own life. I have hurt people (who hasn't lol) but I am (I hope) a person who is quick to recognise when I've done something wrong and to seek forgiveness. Not always quick to recognise, but I'm getting better. Whether that person forgives me or not, I have felt the freedom of humbling myself and asking for forgiveness. The same goes for when I've been hurt, whether the person who has hurt me has humbled themselves and asked for forgiveness or not, I choose to forgive them so that a root of bitterness does not spring up. Such freedom in humbling yourself and going to your brother and asking forgiveness. Pride is an awful thing, it stops us from humbling ourselves and apologising and seeking forgiveness. In the case of my friend, she chose to forgive even though she was still hurting (and rightfully so). What a sense of freedom she had when she forgave her husband even when he wasn't truly sorry. I was humbled by her honesty and her willingness to forgive.
The way I see it is, I'm a sinner. Before I was saved I hated God, I didn't love Him with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I walked the way I wanted to, I did my own thing, I governed my own life. But because of Jesus Christ's sacrifice, I am forgiven! I have been forgiven much! How can I not forgive others for hurting me when I have been forgiven so much by God? I think unforgiveness is like a cork that stops the flow of things from God to us. Here are a few Scriptures on forgiveness that have really challenged and blessed me.
Matt 6:14-15
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Ouch!
Mark 11:25-26
And when you stand praying, forgive, if you have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
Matt 18:21-22
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus said to him, I say not to you, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
My husband is a very forgiving fellow, he is slow to anger (actually I've hardly ever seen him angry), he has unlimited grace for people where as it takes me a while longer to have grace for people. But hubby's forgiving nature is rubbing off on me and I'm starting to forgive quicker. Hubby often says to me when someone does something hurtful "Just have grace babe". I'm learning to have grace for people, but it's a very hard thing to learn lol. I often have to remind myself, that I am not perfect and that I too hurt people so I should have grace as I would want that grace given to me. But I am recognising the importance (for my own heart) of forgiving others. 70x7! Just as the Lord forgives me. Praise you Father for your forgiveness, thank you that you forgive me of all my sins, help me to forgive others. Amen!
The way I see it is, I'm a sinner. Before I was saved I hated God, I didn't love Him with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I walked the way I wanted to, I did my own thing, I governed my own life. But because of Jesus Christ's sacrifice, I am forgiven! I have been forgiven much! How can I not forgive others for hurting me when I have been forgiven so much by God? I think unforgiveness is like a cork that stops the flow of things from God to us. Here are a few Scriptures on forgiveness that have really challenged and blessed me.
Matt 6:14-15
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Ouch!
Mark 11:25-26
And when you stand praying, forgive, if you have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
Matt 18:21-22
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus said to him, I say not to you, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
My husband is a very forgiving fellow, he is slow to anger (actually I've hardly ever seen him angry), he has unlimited grace for people where as it takes me a while longer to have grace for people. But hubby's forgiving nature is rubbing off on me and I'm starting to forgive quicker. Hubby often says to me when someone does something hurtful "Just have grace babe". I'm learning to have grace for people, but it's a very hard thing to learn lol. I often have to remind myself, that I am not perfect and that I too hurt people so I should have grace as I would want that grace given to me. But I am recognising the importance (for my own heart) of forgiving others. 70x7! Just as the Lord forgives me. Praise you Father for your forgiveness, thank you that you forgive me of all my sins, help me to forgive others. Amen!
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
The Parable of the Pharisee
Luke 18:9-14 And he spoke this parable to certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank you, that I am not as other men are, extortionists, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes to heaven, but smote on his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalts himself shall be abased; and he that humbles himself shall be exalted.
I love this parable! For many reasons. One, it shows true righteousness which comes only through Jesus Christ. So many people think that they can get to Heaven on their good works, that if they don't commit any serious sins (ie murder, rape etc) then that will be their ticket into Heaven. But the Bible says that our righteousness is as filthy rags. There is no amount of good works that can get us into Heaven. For we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. There is not one of us on this earth that is deserving of Heaven, but praise be to God that He sent His only son Jesus to take our punishment and give us His righteousness that we may live in Heaven with Him because of His righteousness.
Second, I love this parable because it shows how we should be as Christians throughout our whole life. We should never get to a place where we think we are high and mighty. Where we think we are better than others, or that we have obtained a certain level of God's favor and are thus more important to Him than other people are. God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. We should always walk in humility, understanding that we are but nothing and Christ is everything. We are merely sinners saved by incredible grace. 10 years I've been saved, and I'm still a sinner to this day. I'm still a horrible person who has such bad things inside of me that cause me to cry out to God like the publican in this parable. The only thing great in me is Christ. I am nothing, and I always want to be nothing, so that Christ will continue to be everything in me, that He may get the glory for every good work in me.
Need to cut this short as it's bedtime for the kids. Will maybe come edit this later and add more thoughts:)
I love this parable! For many reasons. One, it shows true righteousness which comes only through Jesus Christ. So many people think that they can get to Heaven on their good works, that if they don't commit any serious sins (ie murder, rape etc) then that will be their ticket into Heaven. But the Bible says that our righteousness is as filthy rags. There is no amount of good works that can get us into Heaven. For we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. There is not one of us on this earth that is deserving of Heaven, but praise be to God that He sent His only son Jesus to take our punishment and give us His righteousness that we may live in Heaven with Him because of His righteousness.
Second, I love this parable because it shows how we should be as Christians throughout our whole life. We should never get to a place where we think we are high and mighty. Where we think we are better than others, or that we have obtained a certain level of God's favor and are thus more important to Him than other people are. God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. We should always walk in humility, understanding that we are but nothing and Christ is everything. We are merely sinners saved by incredible grace. 10 years I've been saved, and I'm still a sinner to this day. I'm still a horrible person who has such bad things inside of me that cause me to cry out to God like the publican in this parable. The only thing great in me is Christ. I am nothing, and I always want to be nothing, so that Christ will continue to be everything in me, that He may get the glory for every good work in me.
Need to cut this short as it's bedtime for the kids. Will maybe come edit this later and add more thoughts:)
Monday, 14 February 2011
All about Abigail
My sweet girl Abigail turned 5 today! She is the best Valentine's Day present I ever got or ever could get. She's such a sweet loving girl, with a great heart. She amazes me everyday with her questions about God and Heaven. She loves her brother and sister with all her heart, and gets protective over them. Here is a story about just how great she is:
She used to watch this show called the Numberjacks. Is pretty much about what the title is, numbers and counting and such. She used to love the program in the summer but there are a few characters in it that are the bad guys, like for example one is called the number taker and he takes numbers. She started having bad dreams so we said she couldn't watch the show anymore. As soon as she stopped watching it she stopped having the bad dreams. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and Rodney's mom had taped some kids shows onto a disc for the kids. On the dvd was the Numberjacks. When it came on Abby got up out of her seat and started to walk out of the room and started to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she didn't want to watch the Numberjacks because daddy said she couldn't and that we had to turn it off. I was so incredibly proud of her for just wanting to obey her daddy and please him. She was upset because she didn't want to disobey her daddy. I was amazed by her honesty, if she wanted to watch the program more than she wanted to obey her daddy, then she could've easily have done it without bringing to our attention that the program had come on. So she chose to obey, it was a heart felt thing and it made my heart extremely proud! What a wonderful girl she is!
That's just one of the many wonderful things she has done. She says all the time "Mommy, God is my best friend because He made me and that's why He's my best friend". I just love that girl!
She had a great day today, we didn't do anything huge or exciting, we just had Mercedes and Mia over for some cake and presents. Low key, but oh so wonderful.
I end this blog post with a link to David Wilkerson's latest blogpost. If you have time, read it! This message spoke straight to me, especially about what my last blogpost was about. I need to stop doubting that God loves me and believe what His Word says is true!
http://davidwilkersontoday.blogspot.com/2011/02/danger-of-unbelief.html
She used to watch this show called the Numberjacks. Is pretty much about what the title is, numbers and counting and such. She used to love the program in the summer but there are a few characters in it that are the bad guys, like for example one is called the number taker and he takes numbers. She started having bad dreams so we said she couldn't watch the show anymore. As soon as she stopped watching it she stopped having the bad dreams. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and Rodney's mom had taped some kids shows onto a disc for the kids. On the dvd was the Numberjacks. When it came on Abby got up out of her seat and started to walk out of the room and started to cry. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she didn't want to watch the Numberjacks because daddy said she couldn't and that we had to turn it off. I was so incredibly proud of her for just wanting to obey her daddy and please him. She was upset because she didn't want to disobey her daddy. I was amazed by her honesty, if she wanted to watch the program more than she wanted to obey her daddy, then she could've easily have done it without bringing to our attention that the program had come on. So she chose to obey, it was a heart felt thing and it made my heart extremely proud! What a wonderful girl she is!
That's just one of the many wonderful things she has done. She says all the time "Mommy, God is my best friend because He made me and that's why He's my best friend". I just love that girl!
She had a great day today, we didn't do anything huge or exciting, we just had Mercedes and Mia over for some cake and presents. Low key, but oh so wonderful.
I end this blog post with a link to David Wilkerson's latest blogpost. If you have time, read it! This message spoke straight to me, especially about what my last blogpost was about. I need to stop doubting that God loves me and believe what His Word says is true!
http://davidwilkersontoday.blogspot.com/2011/02/danger-of-unbelief.html
Saturday, 12 February 2011
God's Love
I've been trying to understand God's love for me for years. When I was first saved I felt God's presence just about everyday and I never seemed to doubt God's love for me. But as you go on down this narrow road of Christianity, I believe God withdraws His presence (or at least the feeling of it) from you so that you will learn to trust Him more and so that you will seek Him more. It's very hard for me though because I tend to think God loves like us humans do, and that just isn't true. You see, we humans often love with a conditional love. It's usually only very rarely do we love with an unconditional love, and usually that unconditional love is reserved for our family. I find it very hard to distinguish between God's love for me and human love for me. The only people in this life that have truly loved me for who I was (warts and all), and regardless of the mistakes I make are my husband, kids, and my family. Everyone else has either never really loved me or only loved me dependant upon my good works, or if I acted perfect etc. Now, God's love for me is so much more than my hubby, kids, and family's love for me yet I have the hardest time accepting His perfect unconditional love. The thing is, I know all my shortcomings, I know all my failures, I know my heart is blacker than the night sky and yet often times I think "How can God love me when I'm so filthy, when I do this wrong or say that wrong?" I cry out to God to change me, to make me more like Him, to forgive me for my failures and sin, but then I don't let myself believe that He loves me warts and all. I think because all throughout life I've been hurt by so many people (who hasn't right? LOL) and I wrongfully put God in that same box as them. It's not fair to God, and frankly it's unbelief on my part. I know what the Bible says. I've read all the amazing stories in the Bible like that of King David who commited adultery and then murder, then repented and yet God still loved David no matter what David had done. One of my favorite verses is Romans 8:38-39 which says that nothing can seperate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. Yet I still doubt His love for me. I think maybe the main root of it is that I don't truly love myself. You see when people who you trust and love stop loving you or they don't truly love you for who you are, then I end up thinking that I must be unlovable. I don't see any reason why people or God should love me. If only I could get past this, to not associate human love with God's love for me. I think having kids has started the ball rolling in the right direction, as when I look at my babies I know that there is nothing on this earth that could seperate them from my love. No matter what they do, no matter what they say, no matter if they end up hating me one day, I will always love them and give my life for them. And I know in my head that that's how God feels about me, but my heart doesn't seem to grasp it. And the times when I don't feel His presence, or hear His voice, I automatically put it down to "what have I done wrong. He must not really love me". Seriously, I've had thoughts that Romans 8:38-39 must have been written to everyone else in this world except for me. What a stupid thought! It's just reminding myself everyday, that nothing I do or say will ever seperate me from God's love. What an amazing love God is! How He could love imperfect people, sinful people, even people who hate Him, it's just incredible. Mind blowing actually. So I think what needs to happen is, I need to learn to love myself and stop listening to what other people think about me, I need to not doubt God's love for me. Wow, that was really quite theraputic for me lol, even if no one else reads this haha.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)