Been a while

It's been a couple of weeks since I've posted. I've had some sort of sinus/throat infection and it's taken about 2 weeks for me to feel better. I haven't even gotten out to my running group:( Was hoping to go tonight but my shoulder and neck have been in agony from coughing so much, so I think I'll just try and go back on Monday. I haven't felt that ill in a few years. Glad it's mostly gone now.

I've been listening to a sermons online the last few days. One that was really encouraging is called "Don't be dismayed" by Carter Conlon. An exerpt from that sermon that has greatly encouraged me is "If you are an active seeker of God, you're gonna have to go through this classroom. I don't see there any escaping it. Every man or woman who is greatly used of God has to go through some very very difficult classrooms that the casual seeker will never embrace. Classrooms of isolation, confusion, despair come into the hearts of those who are truly seekers of God."

"And even though we have to go through valleys and trials we are already on the victory side because of Christ. And in the midst of them I will not fail you and I will not forsake you. All the promises I've ever made to you I will perform to you. And in spite of your weakness I will remain your strength. And in spite of your inconstancy I will remain the One constant in your life. I will not forsake you, I will not fail you in your time of difficulty and trouble."

Such encouragement that is! These last 4 months have been probably the hardest of my life, but yet the greatest in a sense. I can remember one day back in December, I was really struggling and I went and locked myself in the kids bedroom and cried out to God. I remember the tears just kept coming and it felt like my heart was being twisted and ripped into pieces. I remember telling Rodney that I know God takes us through these hard times and that if we truly seek after Him then we will have to go through these trials, but that I didn't know if I could handle it as the pain I was feeling then was so intense and raw. But you know, here we are in March and God got me through it (is getting me through it)! And I actually amazed myself by how much I trusted God through this all! And He has never forsaken me this whole time! Friends have forsaken me but He has been faithful. Even when it feels like He is a zillion miles away, He has never forsaken me. It's encouraging to know that God takes us through these trials in order to break us and bring us to the end of ourselves, all the while never forsaking us in these trials. Sometimes I ask God why He has brought us into this trial, but you know, it really doesn't matter why. All that matters is that God is taking us through it and He will get us through it. So many people look at your circumstances and tell you that you must be in error somewhere or in sin because of what you are going through. But God takes you through these times I believe, and like Carter conlon said "If you are an active seeker of God, you're gonna have to go through this classroom. I don't see there any escaping it. Every man or woman who is greatly used of God has to go through some very very difficult classrooms that the casual seeker will never embrace. Classrooms of isolation, confusion, despair come into the hearts of those who are truly seekers of God."
Praise you Jesus!